Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
my poor anus
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
