all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
