even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
