New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
