i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
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