so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
