I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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