my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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