We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
