It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
