I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She's just so happy...and so naked.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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