Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Semen is not good for contacts.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
