I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
