her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize