its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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