it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize