if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
