I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
