I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
