Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
