His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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