The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize