he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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