oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
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I can't put those talents on a resume
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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