It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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