I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
how drunk are you?
Several
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