You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
