how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
