Buhtt sex?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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