I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
