Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize