was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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