so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
