I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
