I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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