we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
