Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
