Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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