Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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