He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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