You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
