oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
