so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
