Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
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did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
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I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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