Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
