If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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