You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
