Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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