I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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