Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
this is an emotional support booty call
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
