I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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