I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
