i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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