this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
They took my balls.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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